Sorting Through The Lies

Who I think I should be.

Who I want to be.

Who I think I am.

Who I act like I am.

Who I really am.

Every day now I hear the voices in my head. They shame me for how I live so I think that not doing important things will make my situation better until I can do it perfectly. However, when I try to get things done I get distracted and depressed.

The devil whispers lies into my brain and I accept them because I feel like I deserve it. I need to be who God wants me to be, and it is through Him that I know who I am.

I’m having trouble in school. I need to be a top student in order to win over my exceptions, my parent’s expectations, my friend’s expectations, what I think are God’s expectations.

I can’t stand things out of order, but I let them depress me until things get worse and I have no willpower.

I’m a Christian, yet I don’t read my Bible every day. I don’t pray. I have this vision of a perfect Christian girl and I am far from her.

I’m a female, but I don’t think I’m pretty. I don’t wear the clothes that I think I should and my face isn’t like I want it.

So who am I, really? Who do I think I am?

I’m a Christian. I love fashion and beauty not because of how I look, but because it’s a form of art.  I adore music. I enjoy things that require using my brain in a quick and efficient way (which I can do once I understand it, even math). I believe reading is the key to knowledge.  The stars and the moon fascinate me.

That’s all I know. God has so much in store that I don’t know about. Things happen in life that cause people to change. For the better or worse, that’s for you to decide. Will you let the fear and lies take you over and ruin your life, or have God help you discover who you really are?

Recently, a lot I have been going through is about school. I’m a Ravenclaw (through severeal quizzes), but my grades aren’t to my standard. I do believe that I am smart, but school is confusing me. I will try to learn. I want to learn. I will try to accept who I am because I am made by God.

This is just what God has been showing me lately, and I thought it might help you guys out if you are in a similar situation. This is honestly the most personal post I have ever made, but I do hope you at least find it interesting.

13 comments / Add your comment below

  1. Ahhhh Josieeee thank you so much for this whole post and its content, for your honest words, and for your encouragement. I needed this today. <3
    You are not at all alone in your struggles. 😉 I know school can be hard sometimes, and grades are demanding. Just remember that it's about the learning, so as long as you're trying your best you are fine!
    You are beautiful, smart, and even if you can't see it now God still has incredible plans in store for you, dear. Though I'm not always able to comment as much as I would like to, I often read your blog and I love it. Keep up the fantastic posts. 🙂

  2. I feel you, Josie. I am constantly believing those lies that I’m not enough, that I’m not good enough in school, not good enough with relationships, not a good enough blogger, not a good enough writer, not a good enough Christian. But the truth is, until we surrender those lies and stop believing them, we won’t ever be content with who we are.

    I often feel like those lies are questions, and the answers are all inside of us, we just have to believe that God’s plans are higher, and that when we surrender, there’s something better. We often think, “Oh there has to be something better than this, than what I’m feeling”, but there is something better, we just have to believe and let go.

    I hope this encouraged you, Josie! I want you to know that you aren’t the only one that feels that way, I do all the time.

    Have a blessed rest of your week! Remember to rise above and shine, I believe that it’s in you, that you have the power to overcome these lies and feelings that you’ve been having. 🙂

    With love and all joy,
    Allie D.

  3. This was really encouraging, to know that someone else felt the same way I did about some things… I wonder if every teenage girl feels this at some point in her life. But you are beautiful and talented, I know you are. And you’re also gifted with doing hair, and your personality is so unique that sometimes (I sheepishly admit) I wish that I were more like you. Thank you for pasting this!

  4. Hey your website looks great. Haven’t seen it in a while. Don’t believe all the lies. Being motivated is often hard. Your doing way better than i did at your age and you’re way cooler, more talented and more beautiful than. Hope to see some new pics from your new camera on here soon.

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