Who I think I should be.
Who I want to be.
Who I think I am.
Who I act like I am.
Who I really am.
Every day now I hear the voices in my head. They shame me for how I live so I think that not doing important things will make my situation better until I can do it perfectly. However, when I try to get things done I get distracted and depressed.
The devil whispers lies into my brain and I accept them because I feel like I deserve it. I need to be who God wants me to be, and it is through Him that I know who I am.
I’m having trouble in school. I need to be a top student in order to win over my exceptions, my parent’s expectations, my friend’s expectations, what I think are God’s expectations.
I can’t stand things out of order, but I let them depress me until things get worse and I have no willpower.
I’m a Christian, yet I don’t read my Bible every day. I don’t pray. I have this vision of a perfect Christian girl and I am far from her.
I’m a female, but I don’t think I’m pretty. I don’t wear the clothes that I think I should and my face isn’t like I want it.
So who am I, really? Who do I think I am?
I’m a Christian. I love fashion and beauty not because of how I look, but because it’s a form of art. I adore music. I enjoy things that require using my brain in a quick and efficient way (which I can do once I understand it, even math). I believe reading is the key to knowledge. The stars and the moon fascinate me.
That’s all I know. God has so much in store that I don’t know about. Things happen in life that cause people to change. For the better or worse, that’s for you to decide. Will you let the fear and lies take you over and ruin your life, or have God help you discover who you really are?
Recently, a lot I have been going through is about school. I’m a Ravenclaw (through severeal quizzes), but my grades aren’t to my standard. I do believe that I am smart, but school is confusing me. I will try to learn. I want to learn. I will try to accept who I am because I am made by God.
This is just what God has been showing me lately, and I thought it might help you guys out if you are in a similar situation. This is honestly the most personal post I have ever made, but I do hope you at least find it interesting.